Matt & Seb

Alan's in mid loft clear-out, having hired a skip for the purpose, when new couple Matt and Seb pop by to invite them to their housewarming party that night. Despite Alan's natural inclination to say no to a social invitation, Joyce is keen to be welcoming to the new neighbours so accepts on their behalf.

The party is in full flow when our gang arrive. John - having confessed to Alan that he's catnip to gay men - instead immediately attracts the attentions of Matt and Seb's house dog Becks, much to Alan's amusement. Carol's keen to leave early as she and Trevor are coming to the end of a period of sexual lent, which has raised Trevor's anxiety levels to an all time high. Maureen's just excited to be at a 'real gay party' - she used to be a regular at all the clubs back in the day - but Joyce has told her to keep a lid on it, as she doesn't want anyone thinking they're old fogies with outdated notions 'of the gay scene'.

Meanwhile, Alan's spotted one of Joyce's old bedside tables that he had recently thrown out and thinks his hosts have stolen it, which they deny. Unconvinced, Alan tells John he's going to steal it back and enlists his help. But it turns out nicking your own stuff back off your neighbours is more complicated than you might think.