Green Acres - Season 3

The state committee to nominate a new senator considers Oliver as their candidate. Upon hearing about his credentials (he can read and write), they send representatives to Hooterville to meet the man and learn what his neighbors think of him.

Drucker's store doesn't stock jam since all the Hooterville women make their own. Oliver encourages Lisa to learn how to make preserves from Doris Ziffel since hers are the best in the valley. Lisa learns her trick, but it doesn't stay secret for long.

Fred Ziffel objects to Arnold's love affair with Haney's "basket" hound Cynthia. Realizing that their relationship can never work, Arnold breaks things off. When Cynthia performs miserably at the county field trials, Haney wants to sue over his heartbroken hound.

Tired of poor service, Oliver takes the Hooterville Phone Company to court.

Oliver's without an operator on his first day as president of the Hooterville Phone Company. As he wrestles with an exploding switchboard, the locals gossip about how he stole the company from Roy Trendell in a rigged card game. Lisa figures out how to put calls through, but had rather flirt with the president than work the switchboard all night.

Irritated by complaints and about how much money he's losing, Oliver raises the rates at the Hooterville Phone Company. His top priority, however, is getting the Monroe brothers to connect his own phone inside the house. Meanwhile, Lisa discovers the magic of cooking dehydrated food.

Oliver's reign as "El Presidente" of the phone company hits bottom when he hires a farm worker to be his operator. He pays Haney to take the business off his hands, but soon Hooterville is up in arms over the price-gouging Haney Phone Company.

The Douglases find a note from Eb saying he's eloped. While he's on his honeymoon, his cousin Walter will cover his duties. Unfortunately, Walter's experience is limited to bartening at the old Stankwell Falls Lounge. This leads to more destruction than usual on the farm and everyone thinking Oliver's opening a cocktail lounge.

Oliver is tired of paying storage for something neither he or Lisa can recall, so he has it shipped to Hooterville. Inside a giant crate is a genuine Stavinski birdbath that Lisa had bought years earlier for Oliver's birthday. The hideous collection of pipes and faucets leads Oliver to plot "the thing's" demise.

Lisa tells another version of how she and Oliver met during World War II. As a member of the Hungarian underground, she saved him from Nazis by hiding him in a barn and earned him a Purple Heart by poking him in the rump with a pitchfork. They saw each other again after the war when Lisa was a professional cello player.

With Doris out of town, Fred has to look after Arnold all by him self, but when Arnold sees an advertisement for free movies, ice cream, he goes to Pixley, and Lisa comes to the conclusion that he has been kidnapped, so Mr. Kimball, Sam Drucker, and the rest go search for Arnold.

Over Lisa's objections, Oliver plans on attending a farm symposium alone. To watch over her, he hires a charming young British man as a temporary farm hand. Determined to go along, Lisa plots to make Oliver so jealous of the handsome help that he wouldn't dare leave her behind.

Oliver gets the usual runaround from Haney when he complains about the ancient tractor he'd bought. But suddenly, it's a new, honest Haney who offers to buy back the tractor and the "dump" of a farm he sold Oliver. Coincidently, he's just learned that the Douglas farm is in the path of a proposed new highway. Oliver's soon onto his scheme and decides to make the charlatan squirm.

Alf and Ralph announce that they are FINALLY going to finish the bedroom for Lisa and Oliver, but when a fight breaks out between brother and sister, Ralph comes to stay with the Douglas's and since Ralph refuses to work on the bedroom because it reminds her of Alf, Lisa hires her as the maid, but when Oliver realizes she's a good cook he has trouble letting go of her, Alf eventually comes and apologizes and the two go home, Oliver then realizes that Lisa is a good plasterer and goes into the bedroom with Oliver.

Oliver's crabby attitude leads everyone think he's about to snap from overwork. To help him relax, Lisa takes him on a picnic by the lake. That's where he runs into gun-totin' Ira Hatch, who hassles him about trespassing on his property. When he tells the locals about the old man, they declare Haney the winner of the "Oliver Douglas crack-up pool" because Ira had died 20 years earlier.

Eb is embarassed to tell the Douglases that he was stood up at the altar and took his honeymoon trip alone. He begs an old girlfriend, Cynthia, to pose as his new bride just long enough to meet his "parents". She agrees if it won't take long since she has a big date to get ready for.

Sam Drucker calls the law when he discover $300 is missing from his safe. With the investigation pointing only to Frank Nitti, Eb is finally charged when he shows up in a car he paid $300 for and can't recall who gave him the money to buy it.

A mysterious boy, claiming to be from another planet, arrives at the Douglas farm.

A 10 year old whiz makes a deal with Lisa to "electronificate" the Douglas home for 28 dollars. Havoc ensues as he attempts to automate the entire farm.

Arnold sets out to capture the two bank robbers that held Lisa and Oliver hostage.

The farmers of Hooterville are offered a good deal on a government chartered trip to Europe as part of an agriculture exchange program. Everyone except Oliver misunderstands the cost of the trip. Of course, the wives want to go on the trip, too.

On learning that Lisa's mother is coming for a visit, the Hooterville residents go overboard in wanting to welcome the countess. Despite Oliver's protests that she's not royalty, they forge ahead anyway with plans for a parade and marching band.

Everyone in Hooterville, except Oliver, is overcome with spring fever; even Sam Drucker is wearing his spring toupee. Deciding to revive the Hooterville spring festival, Lisa visits the neighbors to drum up support. Meanwhile, Oliver tries to do his planting with Eb who can't understand how to work the automatic planter.

Eb's latest career choice is that of a barber. He talks Oliver into paying his tuition to MIT, a mail-order barber college. Eb's sent a dummy head and hair to practice on and receives his grades by mailing the trimmed toupees back to the school. Lisa is excited about Eb's education while Oliver is irratated by all the hidden costs he keeps being asked to pay.

Lisa's long-awaited vacation to New York is not what she'd hoped for. She's none to thrilled hearing about Oliver's womanizing playboy days or all the wild parties they're invited to. When Oliver's offered a job with his old law firm, he's the Douglas who's tempted by the excitement of city life.

The man who saved the life of Lisa's uncle moves in on the Douglases seeking repayment for his good deed. Lisa feels an obligation to help Lazlo, but Oliver is simply irritated by his constant money-grubbing. Oliver's also unfazed by Lazlo's threats to cast a Hungarian curse on him.

It's planting season in Hooterville, but Oliver doesn't know what to plant...the other farmers aren't in the mood for planting this year because they lost so much money from their crops last year. After many thoughts...Oliver discovers that the land in Hooterville is perfect to plant rutabagas. With that, Lisa gets everyone into the spirit of the new "Rutabaga Bowl". She even is sent up in a hot air balloon, to send out rutabagas across the country that says "Eat Hooterville Rutabagas."

At Sam Drucker's store, Oliver and Lisa meet their new neighbor, who is also expecting. She decides it's time, so Oliver offers to drive her to the hospital. Once back home, Lisa had already offered to "sit" with her other 4 children...and Eb. Oliver doesn't mind at first, but quickly changes his mind after the kids break dishes, run amuk in the house, and when he is forced to sleep in living with the boys, while Lisa, Ralph, and the other girls sleep in the bedroom. Things are even worse when Oliver finds himself drive each kid to school at a different time, then having to turn right around and pick them up a different times. Later that night, it's a wild goose chase at the drive in as each kid ends up getting lost. The day they finally have to go home, they end up staying longer after one of them catches the measels from Ralph.

Arnold's performance as a British police dog in the Hooterville theater production of Who--the marquee wasn't big enough for Who Killed Jock Robin?--turns him into an overnight star. Lisa is so impressed, she arranges for an old friend to give him a Hollywood screen test. The Douglases are soon Tinseltown bound, escorting the hammy actor west for his big showbiz break.

Oliver and Lisa chaperone Arnold to Hollywood for his screen test. Producer Boris Fedor isn't interested in the pig; he's just using him to pressure a greedy horse to come back to work. When the horse's agent balks, the publicity machine starts promoting Arnold as the studio's next big star. A stunned Oliver, who came along for laughs, can't believe what he's witnessing.