Married... with Children - Season 9
Season 9
Episodes
Shoeway to Heaven
Al and Jefferson decide to cash in on 1970s nostalgia by selling shoes from that period.
Driving Mr. Boondy
Al has to renew his driver's license and is upset to learn that Bud will be his Examiner.
Kelly Breaks Out
Kelly has a big zit on the day of her commercial, Ice Beer and Peg offers her a solution. Her uncle Sticky Wanker's zit removing potion will cure it. Al is ecstatic of her being in the commercial, despite his upset over not having tapes of Emma Peel. The Home Shopping Network offered him a compromise, endless first edition volumes of The Three Stooges, which he also loves. His real problem is with Marcy and her feminist group. They recently filed a lawsuit against Ice Beer for not hiring average and unattractive women. It goes nowhere as the jury ruled with the company and FANG is forced to protest against the commercial.
Naughty But Niece
Bud's intense studying for a scholarship exam makes him periodically nod off and fantasize about making out with beautiful women. So, is a passionate encounter between him and Marcy's visiting, sexually aggressive, 19-year-old niece, Amber, a dream or real?
Business Sucks (1)
When Al banishes a nursing mother for breast feeding her baby in the shoe store, Marcy and FANG holds a protest against Gary's Shoe Store in order to have him lift the ban.
Business Still Sucks (2)
Al and No MA'AM decides to hold a counter protest in the favor of banning breast feeding from the shoe store.
Dial "B" for Virgin
Bud's community service assignment for college is the one he is least suited for: consulting virgins on the brink of temptation, while he has to wrestle with temptation himself when he has to go to one's house to talk her out of it. Meanwhile, Al and Peggy go to the video store to find a movie they both can watch together.
Sleepless in Chicago
Jefferson learns that the Barbie doll he bought for Marcy on her birthday at an auction is worth a small fortune of $50,000. So he asks Al a big favor: sleep next to Marcy for the night while he goes out to exchange dolls. In return, Al gets to keep a prized first addition of the magazine "Big Uns" that he bought at the auction with Jefferson's money.
No Pot to Pease In
When Kelly auditions for a part in a Fox network sitcom she happens to mention some stories about her family which the producer likes better then the original script.
Dud Bowl
After the funeral of a former football teammate at the Bullpen Sports Bar, an old rival, named Jack Franklin, challenges Al and his former team from Polk High into a grudge football match between them. But Al ends up being turned into a tackling dummy by ringers Bubba Smith, Laurence Taylor, Ken Stabler and John Reynolds on the opposing team.
A Man for No Seasons
When Major League Baseball goes on a strike, NO MA'AM organizes their own league sponsored by nude bars.
I Want My Psycho Dad (1)
Al launches his group NO MA'AM in a protest outside the local TV station after Marcy's group FANG gets NO MA'AM's favorite TV show "Psycho Dad" canceled. But in a blizzard, no one takes notice. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud try to convince Al to have them throw a house party for their friends.
I Want My Psycho Dad (2)
Al and his friends from NO MA'AM who include Griff, Officer Dan, Ike and Bob Rooney travel to Washington D.C. where thanks to Jefferson's pull, being a former CIA agent, Al and the group gets to address the U.S. Senate about Psycho Dad being put back on the air.
The Naked and the Dead, But Mostly the Naked
To check out their husbands claim of "totally innocent fun" Peggy, Marcy and their friends accompany their husbands Al, Jefferson, Charlie, Ike and Bob Rooney to the Jiggly Room strip club. Afraid of the ladies responses, Al and the group take them on a Thursday night where it's A-cup night so the men won't get excited by the small breasted dancers. Everything goes well at first, until the unexpected arrival of a huge breasted stripper named "Rocky Mountains." Meanwhile, Kelly lands a part in a weight loss commercial and must drink various un-drinkable protein shakes.
Kelly Takes a Shot
Al gets an owl costume to scare away the birds who keep him awake. To impress Amber, Bud helps Kelly to learn archery for her audition.
Get the Dodge Outta Hell
Al's Dodge mysteriously disappears during a family visit to a local car wash while on their way to Wanker county. Meanwhile, Marcy's ex-husband Steve Rhoades mysteriously reappears at the car wash to show her his new life while she is trying to get the lazy Jefferson to work there.
25 Years and What Do You Get?
On their 25th wedding anniversary, Peggy goes out with Marcy to a posh health spa where Peggy gets conned out of all her money by a gift shop employee selling cheap beauty items. Meanwhile, Al is in trouble when the old and senile Buck buries in the back yard the anniversary gift necklace he plans to give Peggy, which prompts him, Bud and Kelly to literally dig up the entire back yard looking for the necklace.
Ship Happens (1)
Peg wins a cruise but decides to take Al and the Darcys along with her, leaving the kids at home with Wolfman Jack, but as always, misfortune follows.
Ship Happens (2)
The Bundys ocean cruise takes a turn for the worse when their ship sinks and they are stranded on a life raft in the middle of the ocean with the D'Arcys, a fat woman, and comedian Gilbert Gottfried. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud endure the media circus that comes to their house asking about their missing parents.
Something Larry This Way Comes
Kelly gets a big break while attending the Larry Storch School of Acting when she and Larry Storch are to appear on stage in a part of the show "Phantom of the Opera." But when the shoe store owner, Gary, knocks out Larry Storch himself, whom she holds a personal grudge against, Al must leave the midnight madness sale at the shoe store, leaving Griff solo, to go to Kelly's rescue at the theater.
And Bingo Was Her Game-O
Peggy gets invited to the Bingo Invitational Final. To their horror, Al and Jefferson hear that the new spokes-model for their official No Ma'am club beer, Girlie Girl Beer, is Yoko Ono. Therefore, No Ma'am must select a new official beer.
User Friendly
Bud gets hooked on a virtual reality sex experiment to revitalize his sex life with Amber, while she and Kelly discover what Bud is up to and plan to get him off it. Meanwhile, Al's week long vacation takes a turn when he becomes obsessed with an electrical switch that has an unknown function.
Pump Fiction
When Kelly and Al collaborate and make a short documentary film about shoes for Kelly's acting class in the Larry Storch School of Acting, they win a grant of $10,000 from the National Endowment of the Arts to make another movie: "A Day in the Life of a Shoe Salesman."
Radio Free Trumaine
In this pilot for a proposed new TV series, set on Trumaine University's radio station, W.H.I.P., DJ's Oliver Cole and Mark Campbell host several hours of unconventional and overlooked programming. After a probing interview, divulging the past of Trumaine's new dean of students, Steve Rhoades, both Oliver and Mark are kicked off the air and expelled from the college. Marcy arrives and upon hearing the news, she tries to get revenge against her ex-husband by leading a feeble on-air protest against their expulsion. But their protest doesn't attract much attention. Meanwhile, Bud is dating April Adams, a fellow student and intern from Marcy's bank, who is also being pursued by Nickolai Pushkin, a rugged, handsome basketball star from Russia. When Bud desperately attempts to seal April's affections away from Nickolai, Mark happens by and secretly broadcasts the conversation over the station and calls it "Hot Talk With April." Mark, Oliver and their new show become so popular that dozens of people turn out for the protest, in which Steve backs down and lets them stay on the air and at the college. April ends up rejecting both Bud and Nickolai, as well as a job at Marcy's bank to remain with Mark and Oliver at their radio station.
Shoeless Al
An insurance agent is assigned to make sure Al is afraid to wear shoes to collaborate his lawsuit against the mall that claims he is afraid of shoes after being tied up by a burglar while at work. But Al must decide between the money from the settlement or winning a bowling championship when he's not allowed to bowl barefoot.
The Undergraduate
Kelly's new secret admirer turns out to be a wealthy, spoiled, and immature 12-year-old boy, named Robbie Bennett, who blackmails her into accompanying him to his junior prom at his elementary school. Bud also crashes the prom disguised as a music DJ to taunt Kelly until she finally cries out for help, and Bud saves her by contacting Robbie's father. But no one expects it when Robbie's father begins to eye Kelly too.
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