Seinfeld - Season 3
Season 3
Episodes
The Note
Jerry and George's massages end up being more pain than pleasure when Jerry has a misunderstanding with the masseusse and George gets his massage from a man. Jerry and George get Jerry's dentist friend into trouble when they ask him for doctor's notes for physical therapy. Meanwhile, Kramer is convinced he's seen Joe DiMaggio in a neighbourhood donut shop.
The Truth
Jerry's audit becomes more trouble than he can handle when George breaks up with the former IRS worker who was helping Jerry, and she ends up in a sanitorium. Meanwhile, Kramer and Elaine have trouble getting along while Kramer dates Elaine's roommate.
The Pen
Jerry and Elaine travel to Florida to see Jerry's parents which they soon regret when Elaine injures her back on a fold - out couch and Jerry gets caught up in a scandal by just saying that he liked someone's pen.
The Dog
When a fellow airline passenger is sent to hospital, Jerry gets stuck watching his unruly dog for several days. With Jerry stuck in his apartment, George and Elaine discover they have very little to talk about on their own. Meanwhile, Kramer has difficulty breaking up with his girlfriend.
The Library
Jerry is investigated by the library for a book he checked out in 1971 and never returned. Elaine fears for her career when her boss hates her recommendations, and Kramer strikes up a relationship with the librarian. Meanwhile, George believes that a homeless man is his old gym teacher, whom he got fired.
The Parking Garage
The gang experience a series of misadventures while trying to find Kramer's car in a mall parking garage.
The Cafe
Jerry tries helping the owner of a small restaurant attract customers by giving him a suggestion. George must take an IQ test for his latest girlfriend, so Elaine helps him in "a caper" where she takes the test for him. Kramer tries to keep his mother's ex-boyfriend's jacket, because it helps him meet women; however the ex-boyfriend comes looking for it.
The Tape
While listening to a tape of his previous nights show, Jerry hears the voice of a mysterious woman who talks dirty into his tape recorder and everyone becomes excited by the voice. George tries a new cure for baldness. Kramer searches for the jacket.
The Nose Job
Jerry's brain and penis play chess against one another to decide whether he should keep dating a vacuous model with whom the "sex is great" but not anything else. George is dating a woman with a big nose, Kramer tells her it like it is and she gets a nose job; however, there is a complication. Kramer gets Elaine to help him retrieve the jacket.
The Stranded
Jerry & Elaine go to a party with George, while there they send signals to each other to get out of bad party conversations. Afterward, George abandons them there, when he leaves with a co-worker he has a chance with. Jerry & Elaine keeping the hosts up real late, while waiting for Kramer to come and pick them up. The host later takes Jerry up on his offer to drop by when he is in the city, just as Jerry is leaving. He stays in Jerry's apartment for the evening and parties with Kramer and a lady of the evening. Later George pays the price for his romance in the workplace (he must quit) and he tries to shoplift at the drug store where he says they still owe him ten dollars.
The Alternate Side
Jerry's car is stolen and the criminal picks up his car phone. George decides to take a fill-in job moving cars from one side of the street to the other; this turns into a disaster for local traffic flow. Kramer gets a chance to do a line in a Woody Allen film; "these pretzels are making me thirsty." Elaine gets tired of her 66-year-old boyfriend and when she is about to break up with him, he has a stroke.
The Red Dot
Jerry is the unwitting cause of Elaine's boyfriend falling off the wagon. Elaine gets George a job, so he buys her a gift, an $85 cashmere sweater. The sweater has a little red dot on it; hence the price. Elaine gives it back, then George gives it to the cleaning woman, to keep her quiet about them having sex on his desk. George gets fired.
The Subway
Everyone has an uncommon experience while going their separate ways on the subway. George meets a beautiful woman who distracts him from his intended destination, a job interview. Jerry falls asleep and then wakes up across from a fat naked man. Elaine's train stops in the middle of a tunnel on her way to be best man at a lesbian wedding. Kramer overhears a hot tip on a horse on his way to pay $600 in traffic violations.
The Pez Dispenser
Kramer joins the "Polar Bear Club." Jerry gets one of Kramer's Pez dispensers which makes Elaine laugh during a piano recital of George's girlfriend, and that puts their relationship in jeopardy. Kramer has an idea for a cologne that smells like the beach and suggests that George make a preemptive breakup with his girlfriend, that will give him the "upper hand." The Pez dispenser has a remarkable effect during a drug confrontation.
The Suicide
Elaine needs to fast before an x-ray, so she tries stuffing herself three days before the test. After his neighbor Martin tries suicide, Jerry is hit on by his girlfriend, Gina, while at the hospital. A psychic warns George to cancel his vacation to the Cayman Islands, but never can tell George why. Jerry becomes worried when Newman (a friend of Martins) sees him with Gina. Elaine starts hallucinating from hunger. Everything hinges on a Drake's coffee cake.
The Fix-Up
After selling each other on the idea, Jerry and Elaine sell George and Elaine's friend on a blind date, then they await the results. They promise to keep each other updated with "full disclosure," though that doesn't happen. There also may be a problem with a defective condom.
The Boyfriend (1)
Jerry becomes increasingly jealous of Elaine's relationship with Keith Hernandez. The unemployed George Constanza schemes to collect unemployment checks, while the illustrated JFK "second spitter theory" is further investigated.
The Boyfriend (2)
Jerry becomes increasingly jealous of Elaine's relationship with Keith Hernandez. The unemployed George Constanza schemes to collect unemployment checks, while the illustrated JFK "second spitter theory" is further investigated.
The Limo
Jerry and George lie their way into a limo heading for Madison Square Garden to, or so they think, a Knicks/Bulls basketball game. Along the way they pick up Elaine and Kramer but soon become fearful of two Neo-Nazis and discover the event they're really headed to.
The Good Samaritan
Jerry trails a hit-and-run driver but is attracted to her and begins dating her; he later learns her victim was a longtime quarry and dates the latter as well. Kramer begins having seizures whenever he hears Mary Hart's voice.
The Letter
Jerry learns that his new artist friend, from whom George has been forced to buy a painting, plagiarized a letter to keep him from breaking up with her. Elaine refuses to remove her Baltimore Orioles cap during a New York Yankees game.
The Parking Space
Coming from an outing to a flea market in New Jersey, Elaine and George damage Jerry's car when George drives over a large pothole. When they get to his apartment they end up spending the whole day arguing over a parking space. Elaine meanwhile has to come with a story about the damage to the car.
The Keys
Jerry is fed up with Kramer coming into his apartment any time he feels like it and asks him to return his spare set of keys. Kramer begrudgingly complies but then lets it be known that he's leaving for California. When Jerry forgets his keys, he gets George to let him into Elaine's apartment so her can get his spare set.
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